new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
