I must be too annoying 4 u.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
