"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love accidental penises.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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