She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
