does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
