How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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