My friends, they love my intelligence
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
