Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
