She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
