Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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