Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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