JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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