He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
