Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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