I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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