All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
