You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
