he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
