i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
