I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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