i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
