she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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