I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
