I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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