and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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