I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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