Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
