oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
