oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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