Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
