Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
