so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
