so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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