Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
