is your mom at the bar?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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