So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
