Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
