I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
