soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
