She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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