Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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