U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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