I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
