my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
