I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
