The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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