I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you made out with another girl for some wings
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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