Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
