Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
