I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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